Why Do Relationships Fall Apart?
Relationships are different for everyone, but some things that make up the bond between two people, remain the same. The same things can make relationships last forever but if taken lightly, a very strong relationship can collapse within days. Here are some important reasons why:
Taking them for granted
The first few months or years of a relationship are always good. Efforts are made from both sides and that warm, fuzzy feeling is at its peak. During this so-called ‘honeymoon period’, there is always a need to impress the other person and win their heart. Once the relationship is stable, people forget that the heart they won should always be reminded of love. Taking your partner for granted is the worst thing you can do and this is a major reason why most relationships fail.
Not being able to understand the relationship
Sometimes, it takes ages being together and people still cannot figure out what their relationship actually is. The key is to evaluate what works for both you and your partner. Being selfish is bad but being totally giving can be destructive too. Both should find a balance where there is perfect harmony. And how can we achieve that? By being a good listener and also being patient while explaining yourself. Lack of communication creates major misunderstandings and can put an end to a relationship.
Not enough nurturing
The biggest mistake that people do is that they raise the expectations of their partner by going the extra mile in the initial days and then just stop doing it one day. A healthy relationship depends on the connection between the two people. That connection can easily break with a little distance, mistrust, and assumptions. Giving time, being loving, and a little effort every once in a while can rejuvenate long lost love connection.
Does Breaking Up Also Mean There Is No Love Anymore?
We can only wish that this was true. Those of us, who have gone through a breakup and are still in love, know that it’s not easy at all. This happens when despite the love a relationship becomes toxic and unbearable. When there is no love involved, the breakup becomes easier. But with love, it hurts like hell.
So, no, we cannot establish that because two people broke up, there must be no love between them. Many times, only love isn’t enough to keep the relationship going. People need to make equal efforts and compromises along the way to keep a healthy and strong bond between them. When this fails, it gets harder for love to stabilize the whole thing.
How Do I Know If He’s Still In Love With Me?
All breakups don’t necessarily happen for good. Sometimes, a little time apart can help you realize your mistakes and needs. So, instead of losing your mind thinking over this, here are some signs you can look out to find if he’s still in love with you.
1. He lights up, seeing you
If somebody is not into you, they wouldn’t have that warm glow when they see you. Notice the guy’s behavior towards you even if you had a fight or a rough patch in a relationship. The feeling that he WANTS to be with you, will clearly show. He will smile, keep looking at you, and genuinely be happy around you.
2. He goes on and off with feelings
We get how mood swings work. But when a guy switches from being cold and withdrawn to being cuddly and lovey-dovey, this means he is confused and doesn’t realize that he’s still in love with you. This time is to be patient with him and help him understand and express his true feelings.
3. His reactions are strong towards you
If a guy doesn’t love you anymore, he’ll be like ‘meh’ on everything related to you. This is called indifference and this is worse than hatred. When a guy has even the slightest of feelings left for you, he will react extremely and emotionally to your problems and concerns. Whether you’re sick, need help, or just down, he’s going to react in a way that you’ll know what’s in his heart.
4. He needs and will get your attention
Guys usually play it (or at least try to) cool and calm most of the time. But a guy in love is always thinking of ways to impress his lady one way or the other. This behavior shows and is the cutest thing ever. Meeting you with a happy vibe, being around you every chance he can get, and both small and grand gestures to win your heart. Even after breaking up, if a guy loves you, he will find a way to get your attention.
5. He’s miserable without you
If you can’t figure out what’s going on with your guy (before or after a breakup), ask his friends or family. Without you, or being at a distance from you, he will be miserable. Guys who are in love are the most loyal and sincere people. So if his heartbreaks, it deeply affects him. If his friends or family reach out to you because of his despair, realize that he might still be in love with you.
What Should I Do If He Still Loves Me?
All that pain you’ve gone through after a breakup, it hovers over your head and clouds your judgment at times. And when you find out that he is still in love with you, it makes the situation more complicated. First, clear out your OWN feelings and figure out what you want. Then you can follow these options:
Think about why you guys broke up?
It was not easy the first time so you don’t want to go through it all again. So you have a second chance now to think maturely and rationally. Whatever the reason was, it was big enough to separate you two. But now you can figure out whether it was the right thing to do? Could there be a solution for that reason? Etc.
Figure out if he REALLY wants you back
Don’t fall for a heartfelt ‘I love you’ just yet. He could be confused too. If he randomly missed you and called you when he was lonely, then he might genuinely be recalling his love for you. But if he saw you out with another man, this might just be the jealous talking. So take note of the timings and his behavior. But most importantly, don’t fall for a booty call.
How Do I Tell The Difference Between Someone Who Is In Love, And Someone Who Is Just Obsessed?
Getting these two concepts straight is essential to survive in any kind of relationship. This piece of knowledge can save us from a lifetime of torture and misery. When we see someone always paying attention and taking care of us, it is surely flattering. But we should be able to tell obsessed people and true lovers apart. Here are some points to consider:
When he’s obsessed:
- In obsession, he is unable to let go of you even for work.
- In obsession, he will use guilt tactics to lure you back from a fight.
- In obsession, he will become insecure and paranoid on the slightest of things, especially when you’re apart.
- Increased anxiety and restlessness follow obsession.
When he’s in love:
- In love, he is able to love you from a safe distance
- In love, he will admit his mistakes and make up for fights.
- In love, he will trust you even if you two are spending some time apart and won’t be afraid to lose you so easily.
- Love makes sleep peaceful and fulfilling.
Obsession is jealous and insecure
Love gives you freedom
Obsession wants to possess you
Love is based on reality
Obsession is a fantasy
Love is free and wants to share
Obsession is clingy
Love wants the best for you
Obsession just wants you”
It is a very difficult choice to let go of love. But if someone gets a second chance, it’s good to avail this chance to change things for the better. If he still loves you, don’t be too hard on him provided that this chance wouldn’t be hard on you as well. Have a safe distance, don’t rush into things, and hope for the best.