How Hard Is it To Let Go Of Someone You Still Love?
A person can be capable of so many things. We endure so much pain and struggle on a daily basis but still somehow manage to recover. We think that the most painful thing for our body to bear would be something physical like trauma, like a wound, or a disease. But mental and emotional pain is so much worse than that. We can take pain killers for a wound, but the heart can never stop aching. Letting go of someone is equivalent to this kind of hurt.
Breaking up after a big fight can be easy, when you’re both feeling-less and hate each other. But getting away from someone you still love? That can only be done by true warriors of love. People might assume it’s not a big deal, but the one who goes through this ‘letting go’ phase, knows how difficult it is.
So, bottom line, it’s really hard.
Why Do People Choose To Let Go Anyway?
Why would anyone choose to let go of their love? Seems like a stupid question. But in reality, this question should be asked by everyone who is in love, but miserable. When months or years of effort remain futile, when your partner expresses themselves as a cold-hearted person, and when you can’t even pinpoint what actually is going wrong in a relationship, that means the whole thing is getting toxic. Some people don’t realize this for decades. While some get a grasp of this toxicity and try to find a way out of it.
When someone knows their actual worth and comprehends how important it is to be happy and free, only then they can make a tough decision like this one to let go of someone they love. Realizing self-worth doesn’t mean that they stop loving their partner. But it means that they can know to prioritize their happiness over pointless misery and this is totally fair. What is the purpose of a relationship when it doesn’t give you a feeling of being whole? This is usually the main reason people choose to let go.
How Do People Decide When To Let Go?
In movies, we see how the perfect couple always finds a way to reconnect with each other, no matter how many villains try to take them apart. According to these concepts, romantic love is enough. But the reality is entirely different. The feeling of being in love is so strong that it convinces people to go to unhealthy lengths to please their partner. But this shouldn’t be the case. A relationship should be mutually happy and beneficial. Here are some reasons which compel people to realize that it is time to let go:
Their needs go unattended
A relationship is supposed to make you feel fulfilled and even overwhelmed. But when this feeling is long lost and a person feels that he or she is only taking care of the other one, then letting go seems like a peaceful option.
The friends and family have to make up for the loss
When you often find yourself seeking help from other people while your partner is not even aware that you’re upset, this feeling is a major damaging factor to the relationship. If your romantic relationship cannot meet the most basic needs, then what is the point?
They are scared to ask even the bare minimum
When a loving person loses themselves in taking care of their partner, then their own happiness seems too much to even ask. This is the point in a relationship where no one should ever be. It’s hurting and exhausting. Letting go remains a suitable option at this toxic point.
6 Helpful Ways of Really Letting Go of Someone You Love
We know this is a tough decision. That is why we are here to help you truly let go of someone you love and to make sure you don’t give in to your love-filled emotions. Letting go is the first step but staying that way is a crucial one as well. All that effort goes to waste if you run back to a toxic relationship yourself.
1. Cut off entirely
Cutting off doesn’t mean that the moment you block the person, you will forget about them. It is for your own peace of mind. This means you cannot see that person, you cannot look at their social media profiles, and you cannot even look at old photos (no matter how much you miss them, because you will). This will not take your mind off of them, but this can definitely buy you some time to think and focus on yourself.
2. Give time to your feelings
Your feelings are important and you should know that. Always taking care of the other person can make you feel lost and unimportant. So when you’re thinking of letting someone go, focus on what YOU feel. Don’t worry about what is going to happen next, just do what makes you feel better.
3. Enough with the fantasizing
When you start fantasizing about your partner changing for you, this is entirely wrong. Let go of the person and let go of unrealistic things. If your partner didn’t change for you at your lowest point, it is a possibility that they might never change at all.
4. Be forgiving
A crucial part of letting someone go is not to be bitter about it. The wounds in your heart need healing and they can only heal with a peaceful mind. Not just forgiving others, forgiving yourself is equally important. You’ve done enough, you’ve tolerated enough. Now it’s time for you to be simply in peace. Be compassionate with yourself, everything will come into place itself.
5. Grieve, it’s okay
When you’re letting go of someone, know that grief is going to be a part of this journey. Understand this grieving process. You know that with this kind of loss, you will tackle feelings of denial, isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. This hurts but is the right way of letting someone go.
6. Take all the time you need
It’s a tough decision no doubt so take all the time you need. Let the feelings sink in, one day at a time. Ponder upon the decision with a focused mind (not clouded by anger or frustration). Think about what to expect and how to handle such situations. The loss feels awful even just by thinking about it, but you have to allow yourself to experience it completely. Only then you can actually let go. Otherwise, all the unresolved feelings will come back and make you chase that person once again.
What Good Can It Bring To Let Go Of Someone You Still Love?
After an expected difficult period, only good things await. Either the person you let go will realize your worth and come back (this does NOT mean to cling on to this hope the entire time) or you will realize your own worth and move on. Moving on can be the best thing that ever happened to you if you allow it to be. You will discover a new aspect of yourself, you can focus on work, you can travel, etc. In short, your mind will not be burdened or governed by someone else.
What New Things Can I Do To Take Care Of Myself After Letting Go?
When you let go of someone, you have to keep yourself from falling back to some toxic emotions and memories. Other than that, you are also free to make some new changes to your life the way YOU want. If there were some things you were missing out on in a relationship, you can finally be fearless and get on with them.
Well-deserved Me Time
Simply do what makes you happy. A spa day, massage, a movie all by yourself, spoiling yourself to your favorite dine out, go on a shopping spree, travel, etc. Being all by yourself can be uplifting at times.
Reconnect with friends
If a relationship had all your time invested, now is your chance to finally be out and truly bond with your friends (not to rant or complain, but to have quality time).
Seek pleasure in long lost hobbies
When was the last time you took time out for hobbies? They are the best way to distract yourself from bad thoughts and stay focused. Your time will pass effortlessly and your confidence boosts up as well.
Meditation and exercise
Instead of stress eating that you might regret later, you should opt for a good workout schedule or meditation/yoga. This will help you reconnect with your inner self and find peace from within. These activities open the mind to newer possibilities.
If you are not valued by someone, it is best to let them go. If they appreciate your worth and come back, they could deserve another chance.